“Someone is in here!” I yelled, almost desperately.
We were in the family bathroom at Walmart where I could hear people outside the door and knocking repeatedly. I was currently handling my business after getting Logan, who was three at the time, off the potty.
“I think someone’s in there,” A man’s voice sounded rather disgruntled as he knocked again.
“Yes, I am in here!” I hollered. Please hear me, because I am currently in no position to meet anyone new. Logan’s head cocked to the side like a little puppy as he watched the door knob jiggle from right to left, left to right.
“Mommy. Somebody knock!” he said. “I let in.”
He toddled over to the door as I begged him to stay next to mommy. His chubby fingers wrapped around the knob, and I had to take action. Happy shoppers buzzed while on the other side of the door I waddled with my pants gathered around my knees and prayed for some kind of divine intervention.
A splice of light showed through the crack in the door as Logan pulled it back, so I catapulted myself in the superman position and almost..just almost…made it. When I looked up, I found horrified faces of a small crowd gathered around the layaway desk.
I looked no one in the eye, I just quickly shoved the door closed with my foot as Logan laughed.
I probably waited about ten minutes before I left the room, hoping the layaway line was moving quickly. Oddly enough, what I did do was take a picture of my feet and post the story on Facebook.
Embarrassment has grown on me.
I spent most of my childhood mortified by just about anything–which was an embarrassment in itself, because I don’t just blush. My entire neck, chest, and arms break out into deep red hives when I get upset. For those who know this about me, which now includes all of you, it is really hard to pretend everything is fine when it’s not.
My family, though I love them dearly, has a tendency to be embarrassing–then again maybe it’s just me. Summer nights when my husband’s 12 foot flashing palm tree lights up my backyard like moonlight in Vegas, when Logan belts his rendition of Queen’s “We are the Champions” in the Wal-Mart bathroom, and when Connor interrupts a salesman’s pitch at Lowes for a new state of the art washing machine by tugging on his leg and asking him where babies come from.
I bought the washer in exchange for one birds and bees talk–I’m telling you, you can get anything at Lowe’s.
I actually create quite of bit of my own due to my own tendency to wear my clothes inside out and then when I accidentally donated my husband’s winter wardrobe to Goodwill. Certain things maybe should embarrass me but I have found that laughter is the best remedy for public humiliation.
I usually just grab my phone and report on it like a breaking news story–which is exactly what it is. Embarrassment is just part of life, and like anything else we bumble through it and learn what being human is all about.
So, I showed you my embarrassing stories. Let’s hear about yours. Share in the comments or on my Facebook page!